Open your eyes to the work you’re not getting paid for: invisible job descriptions.
Collaborative coaching, workplace consulting and skills building to disrupt the unseen cycles of labor in your relationships.
“Doing” relationships is not
one-size-fits-all.
Relationships are the wildly complicated foundation of our lives. We invest in them no matter what. I’m here to help you do that in ways that support you and those you care about with practical and accessible tools, strategies and experiments.
Treat yourself to some new neural pathways.
Generate new ways to relate to all of your relationships, from the workplace to your home base to your headspace.
Individual Coaching and Skills Building
Make new connections — with your brain, your loved ones, and your work habits. Maybe you’re a little “neurospicy” and want a new approach to your work day, maybe you want to skill up to relate to your partner or a friend in need. Whatever your goals, see eye to eye with the invisible pressures in your life and give yourself something new to look at.
Invisible Job Descriptions in Relationships
Tune up and tune in to a primary relationship in your life. Together we’ll identify the invisible expectations that are at play in your specific dynamics and create new patterns of relating to each other with my signature hybrid coaching and skills building program for couples and pairs.
Invisible Job Descriptions in the Workplace
Create a new shared language and tangible checkpoints for your team to make expectations more clear and easier to put into action. You get to focus on the work (not the drama), and enhance the true wellbeing and satisfaction of your team. Collaborate with greater ease, less tension, and more innovative strategies.
The invisible jobs we assign each other — without a paycheck for the extra labor
What starts as care in our relationships can sometimes turn into jobs we don’t even mean to assign or take on.
Unsaid expectations can keep us, our loved ones, and our colleagues doing work we didn’t ask for, and continually riding an endless wheel of let down, disappointment, frustration, confusion and resentment without knowing why.
Meet “invisible job descriptions,” the relational healing framework I developed to identify these unconscious, default patterns for what they are and rework them into new habits and scripts that serve, not require sacrifice.
Hi, I’m Calvin.
I’m a certified professional coach, a healer and workplace consultant whose mission is to radicalize relationship structures of all kinds.
Examining the implicit “invisible job descriptions” we assign helps us see how we’re trying (and maybe not always succeeding) at getting our needs met. With that awareness, my work facilitates new opportunities to move outside of default patterning and behaviors, so actions can lead with more clarity and intentionality.
My approach is grounded in real talk and humor. I’m direct, but I’ll always seek to be kind. I see systems and habits in place where they don’t need to be, and where new structures could exist instead. I believe in curiosity over conclusions, and my neurodivergent brain has a superpower of connecting unseen dots into a bright constellation of relational satisfaction.
40 years of hard-earned experience in relationship building (and what it looks like when we burn it all down instead) has brought me here, including decades of experience in collaborative work. I spent 10+ years in Silicon Valley and now apply my “design thinking” training to relationships of all varieties in all parts of our lives.
I’m a neurodivergent, non-monogamous, white trans man, once married & painfully uncoupled and now best friends with my ex. Grew up in small town poverty, abuse survivor, recovering perfectionist and people pleaser. Rethinking and redesigning personal and professional relationships of all kinds is a legit passion and superpower of mine.
“This work probably saves me four years of therapy.
There's something so powerful about having this pointed, almost surgical language around these issues that it's like a trauma healing. This framework is so supportive and immediately useful.”
— JESSY C.
Magnify your healing support
Everyone can benefit from a multi-directional approach to find the healing they need when they’re ready to receive it.
Here’s a curated list of trusted folks doing powerful work that can help you identify and release what is no longer serving you. Each of these healers has inspired and helped me heal a great deal, and may offer you a new road into your own understanding and action.